My Pity Party

Yesterday I threw a party; it was a Pity Party. You see, negative thoughts had driven me so low I could count all the striations on the belly of a snake. These thoughts kept going through my head: How did I become so focused on myself? How did I become indifferent to my Brother’s plight and pain? Why do I sit here, shut up in my own internal sadness?

Digging deep within my soul, I drew forth the courage to take these questions before the Holy Spirit. He answered quickly, “Do you really want to be free from selfishness and self pity? Do you really want to show you care for your Brother? Do you want to turn you sadness into gladness?” I cried out, “I do, I do!” Then the Spirit said, “Go serve someone!” “But, I don’t feel like serving someone,” I said. The Spirit didn’t seem shocked at my response. He merely said, “Because you don’t feel like it, is exactly why you should serve someone. Better yet, do it now, do it right now, get up and do it right now. For it is through service to others that I release you from who you are not, to whom you are in Christ. I am a servant, and I serve out of love not emotion. Follow my lead; you will be glad you did.”

So, I did as the Spirit directed. In my pain and anguish, I called up an emotionally wounded brother and asked, “I know you are struggling would you like to talk about it.” He said, “I thought you would never ask.” There I sat, listening intently, and let him pour out his heart to me. Then something miraculous happened. I felt compassion beginning to set in. I felt genuine concern for his well being. I heard his crackling shame embodied voice become clear and confident. He knew I cared for him, and I knew he cared for me. I felt warmth come over me like the sun’s rays on my skin, as dawn becomes morning. My self-pity was replaced with joy and my sadness with gladness.

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