I wonder who it was that ever convinced me I belonged to myself? After all, I was saved at a young age; truly saved. The more I aged the more I believed experience gave me the right to myself. So, I sought experience, and what experiences I had; but no matter the experience good or bad it didn’t bring me any closer to properly governing myself. Experience presented itself to me as a cheap imitation of worthiness. I believe the only experiences that ever brought me close to fulfilling my worth were the times when I was tried and tested by God and passed the test. I am here to tell you, divine tests, there were many, but my victories were few. I remember accepting each challenge then leading myself into battle without the realization that I was never meant to lead myself into anything on my own accord. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
In complete view of others I tainted my worth. It became tainted when, I as the tenant of my own body exercised my will in contrast to the will of the legal owner. I am a clay pitcher made by the potter for the filling of water – understood – but can I pour myself out? I think not. The hand that made me must be the hand that pours me out. My worth is poured out through the measure of service I offer to the least in His Kingdom. The measure of worth is molded, and proofed by the potter through pass after pass into the kiln. The kiln (Holy Spirit) offers tinsel strength and purity of hardness. This type of hardness and purity comes from His image within. I am not my own. I have been purchased by the highest worth known to man. The hardness of worth by which I was purchased contains the governance of which I need. I have discovered my worth is proven by the degree of humility, in which, I show myself to the world as a Bondservant of Christ.